Gilbert, "Hmmm? What's that? Hammers are good weapons they do more damage? Great, I'll take a hammer."
[Who goes first...? Gilbert rolls a 6 then another 6 in the roll-off!]
"OK I go first, using my trusty hammer I will smash down this puny door, move inside and crush whatever monster I find!"
[Rolls, 1, 1, 2]
"What is that you say?" Gilbert standing in a pool of sweat having comprehensively failed to knock the door down, but woken up the entire zombie neighbourhood. "Eh? Hammer is mighty weapon? Oh... but sh** at opening doors. Boofff!!!"
[Hitch opens door at first attempt. Gilbert obviously had it down to 1 hit point!]
[Everyone moves inside to have a zombie-bash/treasure-finding party leaving Gilbert outside, red-faced, and cursing hammers. Silas (scrawny-elf) (or maybe Bob, I don't remember I was concentrating on...) find a very nice shiny greatsword... Gilbert wants it!]
[From ineffective first, to ineffective last. The party continues slaying things and finding goodies. When they have finished the shiny has moved through a vault to the otherside of town... Gilbert follows, but when he gets in touching distance he is out of breath.]
[What seems like an eternity later some swopsies go on. Gilbert now has shiny and Silas has crappy hammer. Gilbert loses track of plot while playing with shiny. But he does manage to open a door and maybe hit something so the others can grab the treasure and leave him at the back again.]
"OMG it's a necromancer, what do we do? Aha! Hit it with something that does lots of damage. My shiny? What you say elf? I need a hammer? You yanking my chain scumbag!!! (Aside) I hate this elf!"
[But unable to attack the necro his shiny did kill another (the lowest form of) zombie (to exist) and he has 1 whole experience point - woohoo!]
[Opening doors is now so easy with precious shiny rolling 5 dice at a time
]
"Hey Silas, I opened another door for you, I will just stand here and wait while you rescue the survivors and take all the glory (again)!"
[BOOOM!!! Silas hits the next level]
[BOOOOOM!!! Zombies the size of the Chieftain tanks hit the streets and there are Necro's appearing in gangs...]
"Ha!!! I am not afraid. I have my shiny and 1 whole experince point!"
Gilbert, still moving late in the pecking order follows his half of the gang up the street. Looking to end some zombie very-low-on-life. Suddenly, there is a whole heap of stinking corpses moving around him and being chopped down by the crew.
"Maybe I get my turn to hit something in a minute, no?"
Surrounded by enemies, big and numerous, Scowl decides to open the door at the end of the street! It's the biggest house and it is full. Serious Necro party going on in there and more abominations than I could count.
Mortimer decides to hit the dance floor and moves on in. Boy did he have some sexy moves, but when he finally HIT the dance floor, it was face-first, he was horizontal and ...dead
Knowing that Shiny is no match for the Cheiftain RAT-a-tat-tank about to squish his friend (?) Bob the Brilliant casts a spell on Gilbert. Gilbert the slightly-sweaty-smell is now Gilbert that smells like death itself. The big gribblies ignore him. What's more Brilliant Bob pushes the Necros and Tanks back from the dance-floor so Gilbert can be a 1 XP hero.
"Don't worry my friends. With two deft swings of my shiny I will clear this dance floor and foil these necro plans."
Bish, bash, bosh... he did. Shiny cleaved and sang as it cut through all (the minor zombie things) before it.
"But..." says the unhelpful elf, "you can't kill the big things with shiny!"
"Pah..." says Gilbert, "Not even your crappy hammer can kill the abomonation standing next to me... (Gilbert smells like he just crapped his pants...) Oh dear!"
Then Gilbert (or more likely some insignificant elf) had a brilliant idea. If he searched around and found some dragon fire, he could smash the oil on the floor, run out the house and when all the necros and big things chased him, they would be on the oil and a useless elf with a flaming arrow (elves have bows you know) could fire it and BOOM all the bad things are barbequed spare ribs.
So Gilbert searched, he had always been good at finding shiny things, and he found dragon fire oil... what a stroke of genius. SMASH and run and...
...super-elf with all the XP realises he has no flaming arrow.
Everything goes very dark...
Thoroughly enjoyed it, can't wait for the next game...
[Who goes first...? Gilbert rolls a 6 then another 6 in the roll-off!]
"OK I go first, using my trusty hammer I will smash down this puny door, move inside and crush whatever monster I find!"
[Rolls, 1, 1, 2]
"What is that you say?" Gilbert standing in a pool of sweat having comprehensively failed to knock the door down, but woken up the entire zombie neighbourhood. "Eh? Hammer is mighty weapon? Oh... but sh** at opening doors. Boofff!!!"
[Hitch opens door at first attempt. Gilbert obviously had it down to 1 hit point!]
[Everyone moves inside to have a zombie-bash/treasure-finding party leaving Gilbert outside, red-faced, and cursing hammers. Silas (scrawny-elf) (or maybe Bob, I don't remember I was concentrating on...) find a very nice shiny greatsword... Gilbert wants it!]
[From ineffective first, to ineffective last. The party continues slaying things and finding goodies. When they have finished the shiny has moved through a vault to the otherside of town... Gilbert follows, but when he gets in touching distance he is out of breath.]
[What seems like an eternity later some swopsies go on. Gilbert now has shiny and Silas has crappy hammer. Gilbert loses track of plot while playing with shiny. But he does manage to open a door and maybe hit something so the others can grab the treasure and leave him at the back again.]
"OMG it's a necromancer, what do we do? Aha! Hit it with something that does lots of damage. My shiny? What you say elf? I need a hammer? You yanking my chain scumbag!!! (Aside) I hate this elf!"
[But unable to attack the necro his shiny did kill another (the lowest form of) zombie (to exist) and he has 1 whole experience point - woohoo!]
[Opening doors is now so easy with precious shiny rolling 5 dice at a time
]"Hey Silas, I opened another door for you, I will just stand here and wait while you rescue the survivors and take all the glory (again)!"
[BOOOM!!! Silas hits the next level]
[BOOOOOM!!! Zombies the size of the Chieftain tanks hit the streets and there are Necro's appearing in gangs...]
"Ha!!! I am not afraid. I have my shiny and 1 whole experince point!"
Gilbert, still moving late in the pecking order follows his half of the gang up the street. Looking to end some zombie very-low-on-life. Suddenly, there is a whole heap of stinking corpses moving around him and being chopped down by the crew.
"Maybe I get my turn to hit something in a minute, no?"
Surrounded by enemies, big and numerous, Scowl decides to open the door at the end of the street! It's the biggest house and it is full. Serious Necro party going on in there and more abominations than I could count.
Mortimer decides to hit the dance floor and moves on in. Boy did he have some sexy moves, but when he finally HIT the dance floor, it was face-first, he was horizontal and ...dead
Knowing that Shiny is no match for the Cheiftain RAT-a-tat-tank about to squish his friend (?) Bob the Brilliant casts a spell on Gilbert. Gilbert the slightly-sweaty-smell is now Gilbert that smells like death itself. The big gribblies ignore him. What's more Brilliant Bob pushes the Necros and Tanks back from the dance-floor so Gilbert can be a 1 XP hero.
"Don't worry my friends. With two deft swings of my shiny I will clear this dance floor and foil these necro plans."
Bish, bash, bosh... he did. Shiny cleaved and sang as it cut through all (the minor zombie things) before it.
"But..." says the unhelpful elf, "you can't kill the big things with shiny!"
"Pah..." says Gilbert, "Not even your crappy hammer can kill the abomonation standing next to me... (Gilbert smells like he just crapped his pants...) Oh dear!"
Then Gilbert (or more likely some insignificant elf) had a brilliant idea. If he searched around and found some dragon fire, he could smash the oil on the floor, run out the house and when all the necros and big things chased him, they would be on the oil and a useless elf with a flaming arrow (elves have bows you know) could fire it and BOOM all the bad things are barbequed spare ribs.
So Gilbert searched, he had always been good at finding shiny things, and he found dragon fire oil... what a stroke of genius. SMASH and run and...
...super-elf with all the XP realises he has no flaming arrow.
Everything goes very dark...
Thoroughly enjoyed it, can't wait for the next game...
History is written by the victors - Sir Winston Churchill